next time you go to accuse a teenage girl of overreacting remember that when a bunch of elderly white men couldn’t agree on something, they shut down the government
i would hire him for this flyer alone
writing papers for elementary foreign language classes makes me feel so dumb because in english i’m fairly articulate but i literally just wrote in german: “I have a door. the door is big. the door is brown. i have a room.” i’m handing this in for a grade.
I think Spotify just threatened to kill me
one of my favourite moments is when i’m sitting on a toilet completely drunk and i just smile and nod at myself in silence
i never knew friendzoning boys was as easy as saying thanks im gonna use my manners more
further evidence that straight boys think compliments are magic words that are supposed to make women immediately strip naked
What’s the appropriate, non-friendzoning response?
"You look pretty today."
"Okay, fine, I’ll suck your dick."
the older doctors being grumpy about all the kissing in new who is my new favourite thing
Here’s a little chair into which you can strap your kid and force them to watch you take a dump. Neat, huh?